BIKE RACKS BLOG

No, don’t be scared. Not a REAL UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT! It’s a Hoist Monster! As I’ve hopefully showed everyone, there are just so many wonderful ways to Rack Bikes, from “old school” ways to cutting edge new ways as well also. But totally the coolest way is hanging them up from the ceiling in the air above the ground. Not only is is a conversation starter (”Hey Larry, how did you get that bike in the air?”), it’s also a handy way to keep clutter and un- organization off the floor and keep it out from underfoot by putting it mid-air. Sometimes these devices are called Hoists. And sometimes… they’re called UFOs.

I should have saved this post for Halloween, but I just couldn’t wait! Ha-ha! It’s the Hoist Monster from Stacks and Stacks! It doesn’t look like a UFO, and it doesn’t look scary, but I guess what it scares away is clutter and un-organization, both of which should be very scarred of it, ha-ha. It’s a real tough device, which gives you piece of mind, and it also features a limited lifetime warranty, which is EVEN BETTER piece of mind. AND everything’s included for easy ceiling installation. It’s a great way to rack! This monster has covered all the bases, no doubt about it. It’s really the nicest monster I have ever met. And I’ve met some monsters! And seen some UFOs! Okay, bye.

Everyone is telling me that the world is getting kinda tense these days, and that maybe money stuff is kinda crazy in America. I hadn’t really noticed, because I like to keep my mind positive and upbeat, but I have some good advice for everyone if they’re feeling tense: go out and ride a bike. It sounds crazy, but it really helps with stress and tension and bad thoughts. Simply put, you just outrun your trouble! The faster you pedal, the less you have any bad feelings! I bike ride at least four times a day, and I tell you, I’ve never been happier! The one tension I allow in my life, the ONLY tension, is a tension I recommend to you:

The Bike Tension Storage Rack from StacksandStacks.com is a dream come true, and a great way to store your bikes! I enjoy Stack’s entire selection of Bike Racks, but this model is a real treat. It works in the same principle as those neat bathroom shower tension rods, except it holds bikes! It adjusts between 7′6″ to 9′6″, so you’re covered, wherever you need it. The Bike Tension Storage Rack’s easy-adjust arms will hold up to 4 bikes. But trust me, 4 bikes is a job for the Tension rack. If YOU feel tension, all you need is one bike. Take a deep breath, and bicycle your way to happiness. Its power source is you. Which is good, because my friends tell me that soon gasoline and electricity may be tough to come by.

Everyone is telling me that the world is getting kinda tense these days, and that maybe it’s all going to end soon. I hadn’t really noticed, because I like to keep my mind positive and upbeat, but I have some good advice for everyone if they’re feeling tense: go out and ride a bike. It sounds crazy, but it really helps with stress and tension and bad thoughts. Simply put, you just outrun your trouble! The faster you pedal, the less you have any bad feelings! I bike ride at least four times a day, and I tell you, I’ve never been happier! The one tension I allow in my life, the ONLY tension, is a tension I recommend to you:

The Bike Tension Storage Rack from StacksandStacks.com is a dream come true, and a great way to store your bikes! I enjoy Stack’s entire selection of Bike Racks, but this model is a real treat. It works in the same principle as those neat bathroom shower tension rods, except it holds bikes! It adjusts between 7′6″ to 9′6″, so you’re covered, wherever you need it. The Bike Tension Storage Rack’s easy-adjust arms will hold up to 4 bikes. But trust me, 4 bikes is a job for the Tension rack. If YOU feel tension, all you need is one bike. Take a deep breath, and bicycle your way to happiness. Its power source is you. Which is good, because my friends tell me that soon gasoline and electricity may be tough to come by.

Holy smokes, those bikes look like they’re on “Dancing With the Stars”! Ha-ha. But they’re not – they’re actually racked on one of the coolest, most efficient bike rack/sports rack combos I have ever seen! The amazing Bicycle and Sports Rack from our pals at STACKS AND STACKS is a treasure for not only bike aficionados, but sports fans as well!

The Bicycle and Sports Rack is perfect for storing up to 4 bikes at a time, with a narrow design that makes storage a snap. If you’re garage is as cramped as mine, you’ll certainly dig that feature! But the neatest feature this rack features is completely unexpected – let’s take a closer look:

Awesome! It’s like a sports locker AND a bike rack, ALL IN ONE! That’s pretty cool. And for a parent of some serious little sports-crazy kids, keeping all their sports stuff all in one place makes me and my wife’s life a lot easier. Balls, skateboards, even my girlfriend’s ski poles will fit on that rack. That’s really cool. The folks who created the Bicycle and Sports Rack really know what they’re doing.

Sometimes stuff piles up, and if your sporting equipment is piling up, and you want to rack them all in one place, this is your ticket to bike and sports rack perfection. The Bicycle and Sports Rack is a terrifically cool way to stay organized! Take it from me, this is a great way to keep your garage and bikes and gear clutter-free! (It also makes a unexpected and thoughtful gift, as the holidays are close. Trust me, they’ll love it!).

Well, you certainly don’t have to be a super-human type being to get up on the ceiling. And you don’t have to be a rock climber hang upside down. And you really don’t need to work for the phone company, either. How do you do it? Let me explain to you how. Feast you eyes on some serious awesomeness. This amazing Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack and Hoist takes your bike, and HANGS IT!

Pretty neat, huh? The first time I installed one back in 2003, my kids and I stood and stared. My ex-wife said it looked like a scene out of her favorite film, “E.T. The Extra Terrestrial”. She was exactly right, and the Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack’s tough cam lock and frame is exactly right as well. You know what? It also holds ladders, if your bike is out in the shop. Or you’re out riding it. It’ll actually safely hoist up anything you want, up to 75 pounds! That was great for my cramped garage, when it existed. There just so much stuff around in there, the Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack really helps. It helps your bike “rise above”! (Ha-ha, sorry, bad pun.)

I’d nab one of these Aluminum Overhead Garage Racks quick, and hang your goods up, if I were you. You’ll be envied by your neighbors, and like I said, your kids will love watching things float up there. Mine used to. And my new fiance was so happy after I bought one, that she said that she could overlook all of my “wacky eccentricities” because I finally came though on something I said I could: I made a bike float in the air. Ha-ha! Peace!

Hi friends.  Still here.  Yes, I got all of your e-mail.  No, I still can’t talk about what happened to me.  My lawyer says I have to wait.  SORRY!  Ha-ha.  Don’t worry, though, it’s worth the wait!  Ain’t that the way life always goes?  You’re not kidding.  And then you die!  Ha-ha.  But hopefully not before you learn about what happened to me.  And speaking of hellish nightmares, is there anything worse than eating it?  You know, really eating it, like bad, like wrecking your face?  How about eating it and wrecking your face and having some dude standing there with a CAMERA?!  Oh snap!  Looks like this poor fella ordered a wrecked face for lunch.  Instant delivery!  Is he on Facebook?  Because he just booked it into his face.  And thanks to the internet, we get to re-live it forever:

Maybe he should have stayed indoors and used this instead:

There’s a lot to be said for floating.  If the face-wreck gentleman had the ability to float, he wouldn’t have eaten it!  Ha-ha,  I know!  Okay, but you’re saying, “how can I float a bike?  I don’t have an alien in a basket attached to the front.”  Guess what?  Nobody does.  But they do have access to the internet, and they can shop at Stacks and Stacks.  And there they can find the “Bike Lift - Floating Bike Rack“.  And with it, you can float your bike. You can lift your bike up, up and away using the Bike Lift. This system is light-weight and easy to use. Just use the adjustable gripping hooks to grab your bike and pull up to 50 lbs up and out of the way. The rope locking mechanism ensures that what goes up does not come down until you want it to. This system can be used on ceilings up to 14 feet. Take bike racks to the next level with the Bike Lift. Because eating it on the street is kind of a bummer.  Okay!

I’ve been informed by my attorney that I shouldn’t talk about what happened, but I can keep talking about bike racks!  And speaking of a court case that hasn’t happened yet, check out the joker at THIS SITE.  What a rip-off, guy.  Get ready to get sued.  Anyway, I found a terrific bike rack solution that I’d like to share with you!

This car bike rack provides the ultimate in flexibility to accommodate today’s wide variety of bike frame designs while still maintaining all the advantages of having a hitch mounted bike rack!  Cool!   This rack holds three bikes and rotates to allow your bikes to be carried with the wheels level to the ground and provide greater clearance.  Awesome!  Other features include a locking knob for added security and soft vinyl cushioning, which is grooved for cables and provides a secure, scratch free ride for your bike. Can accommodate up to a 2 inch frame tube. Hey and you can get it at Stacks and Stacks dot com so go get it, bros and ladies!  K bye.

Hi friends, I’m still out here, still alive. I’m in Oklahoma. And I’m in a farm house. A nice couple offered me a bed and a hot meal, and everything seemed okay, but I’m starting to think that I’m in trouble out here. At least my laptop gets the wi-fi out here, so I can share this with you. Being out here is kind of creepy. This nice couple found me sitting in front of a Del Taco, alone and with my lap top, and they asked if I needed a place to stay, and boy did I, but now, after being at their creepy farmhouse, and having had what can only be called the weirdest dinner of all time, and now that I’m sitting in the creepiest basement of all time, I’m going to have to say that maybe this was all a bad idea, and I need to split. Quickly. The wife made this weird “soup” that was pretty much just water and biscuit dough with “fresh” raspberries, and while I was trying to eat it, they kept asking me about why I was dressed in a biking outfit with no bike. When I explained about my ex-wife cheating, and burning the house down, and the Bike Racks Blog, they just laugh and laughed. And kept laughing. Which was weird. Then the husband said that he thought Bike Racks should be used like horse ties in western towns, so you just tie your horse to it when you ride to the saloon, and then the wife said something even weirder. She said that bike racks should be used like stockades in the old days, and that prisoners or criminals should be chained to them. Yeah, she really said that. I couldn’t really finish my meal after that. Not at all. So weird. And neither one of them had ever ridden a bike. Weirder. And this house smells like bad salami. The basement smells worse. So when the sun comes up, I’m taking as much food and supplies as I can carry, and I’m leaving. Until then, I was looking for something pleasant to take my mind off of the weirdness, and I was surfing the site Stacks and Stacks. I found this awesome Bike Box that really took me back, back to when the world made sense…

I could have totally used this box yesterday, to sleep in, even though it isn’t waterproof. But, it wouldn’t have mattered, because this is the strongest double wall corrugated-cardboard bicycle box on the market. Includes rigid CORR-X Frame Plate, all the tie downs, re-inforced handholds, liners, foam chocks and even the H-Strap System. That really rocks, man. And the box is fully collapsible, and easily stored when not in use. Awesome. And it’s good for 5-10+ trips. Man, the more I think about it, the more I miss my bike. : ( Well, friends, I hope you still have your bikes. And a cool bike box to go with them. If I make it out of here alive, I’ll keep blogging. If I don’t, you’ll know what happened. Good luck!!

Hi, friends. I made it out of that horrible, horrible storm, and down the highway to a small town called Bennet Falls. Having not slept much lately and feeling really kind of down in the dumps, I really needed some hot coffee to pick up my spirits. But, sadly, all I have in the world now is my bike and laptop. No money. And as I’m not going to sell the bike or the laptop, I took a self-serve cup from 7-11 and panhandled a bit, right on the highway off ramp. I guess my appearance — mud-soaked bike tights and three-day beard — convinced some kind people that I could use some spare change. I asked them if they read Bike Racks Blog, but no one seemed to have heard of it. Maybe they don’t get the internet here in Bennet Falls. But I had one dollar and thirty two cents, so I went back to the 7-11 to get coffee. I guess I was kind of out of it, sleep-wise, because I forgot to chain up my bike. And as I came out with my hot coffee, I realized my beloved bike had been stolen. STOLEN. It was gone. Gone. All I had now was my laptop, and coffee. Hot coffee. After the incident with my now ex-wife, the burning the house down incident, I figured my life couldn’t get any worse. But here we are. At least I still have this blog. You, my friends, are all that is left for me. You’re my reason to press on. And I will — with my laptop — I will continue to travel around the nation to find the coolest bike racks around the country. Cool, like this 2-Bike Gravity Bike Rack from Stacks and Stacks Dot Com!!

It’s a tension bike rack, and it’s the quickest and easiest solution to the age old bicycle storage problem in your home and garage! The bicycle rack simply leans against the wall, with no wall attachment required; making it perfect for apartments and small storage sheds! The garage bike rack features independently adjustable arms that can accommodate any bike style. The bike rack has a premium quality silver powder coat finish, so it will stand the test of the elements. Assembly is easy, and all tools needed are included, so you’re practically ready to go when you get it! Whether you have enough space or not, this gravity bike rack is the solution for space-efficient bike storage! That’s pretty cool, friends. So go out and check it out, or better yet, buy one!! And while you’re at it, please consider buying me a new bike. Thanks!! Good luck!