Monthly Archives: March 2009

Bike Rack Tour Day 5! Weirdness in Oklahoma Soils the Good Name of Bike Racks Everywhere.

Hi friends, I’m still out here, still alive. I’m in Oklahoma. And I’m in a farm house. A nice couple offered me a bed and a hot meal, and everything seemed okay, but I’m starting to think that I’m in trouble out here. At least my laptop gets the wi-fi out here, so I can share this with you. Being out here is kind of creepy. This nice couple found me sitting in front of a Del Taco, alone and with my lap top, and they asked if I needed a place to stay, and boy did I, but now, after being at their creepy farmhouse, and having had what can only be called the weirdest dinner of all time, and now that I’m sitting in the creepiest basement of all time, I’m going to have to say that maybe this was all a bad idea, and I need to split. Quickly. The wife made this weird “soup” that was pretty much just water and biscuit dough with “fresh” raspberries, and while I was trying to eat it, they kept asking me about why I was dressed in a biking outfit with no bike. When I explained about my ex-wife cheating, and burning the house down, and the Bike Racks Blog, they just laugh and laughed. And kept laughing. Which was weird. Then the husband said that he thought Bike Racks should be used like horse ties in western towns, so you just tie your horse to it when you ride to the saloon, and then the wife said something even weirder. She said that bike racks should be used like stockades in the old days, and that prisoners or criminals should be chained to them. Yeah, she really said that. I couldn’t really finish my meal after that. Not at all. So weird. And neither one of them had ever ridden a bike. Weirder. And this house smells like bad salami. The basement smells worse. So when the sun comes up, I’m taking as much food and supplies as I can carry, and I’m leaving. Until then, I was looking for something pleasant to take my mind off of the weirdness, and I was surfing the site Stacks and Stacks. I found this awesome Bike Box that really took me back, back to when the world made sense…

I could have totally used this box yesterday, to sleep in, even though it isn’t waterproof. But, it wouldn’t have mattered, because this is the strongest double wall corrugated-cardboard bicycle box on the market. Includes rigid CORR-X Frame Plate, all the tie downs, re-inforced handholds, liners, foam chocks and even the H-Strap System. That really rocks, man. And the box is fully collapsible, and easily stored when not in use. Awesome. And it’s good for 5-10+ trips. Man, the more I think about it, the more I miss my bike. : ( Well, friends, I hope you still have your bikes. And a cool bike box to go with them. If I make it out of here alive, I’ll keep blogging. If I don’t, you’ll know what happened. Good luck!!

Bike Rack Tour Day 4! Scoundrels Stole my Bike, but not my Laptop, or my Hope.

Hi, friends. I made it out of that horrible, horrible storm, and down the highway to a small town called Bennet Falls. Having not slept much lately and feeling really kind of down in the dumps, I really needed some hot coffee to pick up my spirits. But, sadly, all I have in the world now is my bike and laptop. No money. And as I’m not going to sell the bike or the laptop, I took a self-serve cup from 7-11 and panhandled a bit, right on the highway off ramp. I guess my appearance — mud-soaked bike tights and three-day beard — convinced some kind people that I could use some spare change. I asked them if they read Bike Racks Blog, but no one seemed to have heard of it. Maybe they don’t get the internet here in Bennet Falls. But I had one dollar and thirty two cents, so I went back to the 7-11 to get coffee. I guess I was kind of out of it, sleep-wise, because I forgot to chain up my bike. And as I came out with my hot coffee, I realized my beloved bike had been stolen. STOLEN. It was gone. Gone. All I had now was my laptop, and coffee. Hot coffee. After the incident with my now ex-wife, the burning the house down incident, I figured my life couldn’t get any worse. But here we are. At least I still have this blog. You, my friends, are all that is left for me. You’re my reason to press on. And I will — with my laptop — I will continue to travel around the nation to find the coolest bike racks around the country. Cool, like this 2-Bike Gravity Bike Rack!!

It’s a tension bike rack, and it’s the quickest and easiest solution to the age old bicycle storage problem in your home and garage! The bicycle rack simply leans against the wall, with no wall attachment required; making it perfect for apartments and small storage sheds! The garage bike rack features independently adjustable arms that can accommodate any bike style. The bike rack has a premium quality silver powder coat finish, so it will stand the test of the elements. Assembly is easy, and all tools needed are included, so you’re practically ready to go when you get it! Whether you have enough space or not, this gravity bike rack is the solution for space-efficient bike storage! That’s pretty cool, friends. So go out and check it out, or better yet, buy one!! And while you’re at it, please consider buying me a new bike. Thanks!! Good luck!

Bike Rack Tour Day 3! I’m Cold, Hungry. Also Frightened.

Boy, I wish I brought a jacket with me. And money. And maybe I didn’t get mad at my wife and burn my house down. Oh well. I’m writing this while sitting inside a freezing cold freeway underpass, and it’s raining really hard. It kind of is terrible being out here like this. Oh well. You know, when I’m usually faced with a really bad situation, or trouble, or things that make me feel bad, I usually go for a bike ride. But where do you ride when the freezing rain is coming down in unforgiving sheets? You don’t ride your bike, that’s for sure. So, you are left with your own thoughts. Your own dark, dark thoughts. Wow. I would say ha-ha, but I don’t feel very ha-ha. Dark. And cold. Maybe I will die out here, alone, with nothing but my bike and my laptop. It’s starting to get very dark, and I’m staring to get scared. The lights from the cars on the freeway lets me know that I’m not alone in the world, but it’s also sad. All those people are going somewhere. Somewhere warm. Somewhere with loved ones. Or, at the very least, they could sleep in their warm cars. Cars that keep out the rain and the wind and the small animals and the fear. Sometimes people have bikes that need go be attached to cars, and that’s why it’s very cool that they carry the Car Bike Rack – 3 Bike from Stacks and Stacks!

This terrific Car Bike Rack – 3 Bike can hold your bikes and take them wherever you’re going, if you’re lucky enough to be going by car. And the features, oh the features. This car bike rack features the ultimate in flexibility to accommodate today’s wide variety of bike frame designs while still maintaining all the advantages of having a hitch mounted bike rack! Whew! This rack holds three bikes and rotates to allow your bikes to be carried with the wheels level to the ground and provide greater clearance. Other features include a locking knob for added security and soft vinyl cushioning, which is grooved for cables and provides a secure, scratch free ride for your bike. AND it can accommodate up to a 2 inch frame tube. That’s pretty cool. So remember friends, if you are blessed with not only a vehicle but bicycles as well, then you must do what is right and purchase this amazing Car Bike Rack – 3 Bike. You’ll be glad you did! Good luck!

Bike Rack Tour Day 2! We made it to St. Louis!

Okay friends, I’m still out here! I managed to catch some sleep under a big rig parked outside the Dunkin Donuts. No one can steal my bike because I have the best kind of chain and cable and lock you can ever buy, even better than this one. So I woke up and got on my bike and I rode all the way to St. Louis! All right! So now I’m downtown, and I’m having some water and I’m laptop blogging from a McDonald’s at 4004 Lindell Blvd!!

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I checked my e-mail, and I see that alot of you are really excited by my trip and new life! So am I! Ha-ha! Some of you also asked about my burned-down house, and my wife and her lover Al, and what is happening with that. Well, I got an email form the sheriff of the town I lived in, and the email said I was wanted for burning the house down, and my wife wants a divorce. Which I laughed at A-LOT because she’s the one who cheated on me! ON ME!! Also, I had a storage space in town, where I stored all of my spare bikes. I guess she’s selling them all. Oh well. I only need the one I have, friends! I’m never going back, even though the sheriff said they are going to hunt me. Hunt me like a rabid dog on the loose. They’re not going to catch me though, friends, because whenever I post a blog, I get the heck out of there fast! So no one will ever know where I’m going next! Ha-ha! But if I were you, I would go over to the site Stacks and Stacks as soon as possible, and get yourself a great bike rack like this Bicycle Stand – 2 Bike Storage System. That’s what I would do!

I write about space-saving storage for your bikes all the time — now you can store two bicycles year-round in HALF the space! Imagine that! I would do it, if I still had a house! Anyway, this efficient bike stand allows you to park two mountain bikes side by side, using only 50% of the space the bikes would normally take by resting on their kickstands. Awesome! It leaves more walking area for you, and more space for cars or storage. The upright design of this handy bike rack keeps bicycles accessible, ensuring a close fit without your bikes’ handlebars or seats getting in each other’s way. Super cool! And sturdy construction features an electro-coated metal tube base with solid steel axle supports and a footpad for easy loading and removal. Wow. It has pretty much everything you could ever want in a bike rack, and that’s alot! I mean, there are some greta bike racks out there, but I like this one in particular because it features That’s pretty terrific, isn’t it? you bet it is!! Okay, friends, I have to go. They just told me if I don’t buy something, I have to leave the McDonald’s on Lindell Blvd . Okay then! Good luck!

Bike Rack Tour Day 1! We’re off on a crazy Bike Rack Adventure!

Well friends, this week marks the dawning of a new age here at Bike Racks Blog Dot Com! As you know, my three children all passed away over last four years: one from the horrors of Misomniadonoma, one was lost to the ravages of Hurricane Jean, and one was presumable eaten by dogs. That’s a full measure of tragedy, friends. It’s not easy to get over that kind of tragedy. But I have, in part thanks to hiding bikes and enjoying the outdoors. And this blog, of course — and all of you! But friends, because I spend so much time out on my bike, or on my laptop blogging, sometimes I miss out on things at home. I don’t notice them, and then, when I do, no bike riding in the world is going to make me feel better. Specifically, the fact that my wife has been sleeping with Al, the guy from the meat counter at the supermarket. Al. Al and my wife. Well friends, when life gives you lemons, you have to do something about it, if you don’t like lemons. My solution was to use the spare gas tank, ride my bike down to the gas station, fill up the tank, then I came back, and I burned the house down. Al and my wife fled the house, as did I, riding away on my bike with nothing but this wi-fi laptop, my helmet, and the dream to keep riding around across the nation, looking for exciting bike racks, and then blogging about them. I never intend to return home. Ever. So if you like bike racks, you’re in for a real treat! I’m going to find as many as I can out there, and share the scoops with you all! Ha-ha. It’s gonna be a blast. I’m not sure what I’m going to do for money or a job, but you can bet I’m going to keep blogging about whatever happens to me! Alright! Well, at this very moment I’m in a Dunkin Donuts that’s open 24 hours. I haven’t slept or bathed, and I don’t know where I’m going to do that, but the coffee here is good, and soon they’re going to pull the first batch of donuts out of the oven, and I’m going to eat some donuts.

HEY! While I’m waiting to eat my donuts, I noticed this really cool Free Standing 4-Bike Rack from the website Stacks and Stacks! look at that, pretty neat, eh? It look just like the one I lost in the fire. Oh well. This one isn’t melted, in fact it features a durable powder coated steel frame also has an epoxy coating for maximum protection against the rough garage environment! The bicycle rack is easy to assemble, with no tools required, so it’s perfect for the average user! So if you need a high quality, built-to-last bicycle storage rack that can accommodate many styles of bikes?, this could be it!! It’s the perfect garage bike rack for families and people who collect multiple bikes (of different kinds). Best of all, this sturdy bike rack can store 4 bicycles at once, with easy adjustments to fit varying styles! So if you’re looking for a really great bike rack, I would say head over and buy that one! Okay, I’m done with my donuts and off on my great adventure!! Good luck!

Shasta McNAFTA. How the NAFTA Freeway should really think about adding a Bike Lane.

I’m like you. I think the NAFTA freeway is a bummer. Because all these things are weird about it. First, it goes all the way through the county, without stopping, from Mexico to Canada, so now illegal people will be able to just drive into our country, and terrorists too, they can just drive in. Scary. And second, it will divide the country in half, and we will no longer be able to travel from the West USA to the East USA, or send mail, or call on the phone. Once the NAFTA freeway is built, you better like the side you live on. And third, it’s not going to be built from normal asphalt — they’re going to use mountains from national parks, and break them down, and use them. Starting with Mount Rushmore. Man, the world sure is changing fast. I just hope that when the make the freeway, they add a bike path, a bike lane, to it. So the foreign people have the option of being fit and healthy and going for a nice bike ride. Because oh yeah, did I mention? No Americans will be able to go on the NAFTA Freeway. Only non-Americans. Kind of a Bummer. Oh, well. Times change. But value never changes. You know what else I found out about (besides that Obama isn’t really an American)? This awesome Free Standing Bike Rack from Stacks and Stacks.

It’s probably the opposite of the NAFTA freeway. It’s cool, and it’s strong, and it’s black powder coated, and it could easily be called a steel framed free standing bike rack, one that gives you a storage option for your bikes that does not take up a huge footprint in your garage. Because footprints leave a trail. And that’s not cool, or organized, or anything you want in a bike rack. Since this unit is free standing it gives you the option of placing the rack anywhere! Anywhere! You decide, not like the NAFTA freeway, because we didn’t get to decide on that. They just started building it without telling us. But it’s okay, because this bike rack looks stylish and is able to handle up to 200 lbs worth of bikes. No wall required! Use it inside or outside, this rack can handle any bike holding job! So there you go. It’s a crazy world, but at least we can always count on Bike Racks to keep our bikes safe and secure, you know? Because it’s not like Chuck Norris is running for President or anything.

Oh wait, Chuck Norris IS running for President. Of Texas. Wow. Well, good luck!

Tired of the Same Old Tires? Then try Looking at these Big Crazy Tires!

Ha-ha! look at those tires! they are really huge! Ha-ha! A scientist in Harvard made these for a vacation he took to the beach in California. I think he overdid it! Ha-ha! The guy built these from tires that weren’t even supposed to BE for bikes, and he made it work. And now, with his crazy Big Wheels of Tires, he can bike in a place that I’ve never been able to bike before: on top of the sand, and on the ocean. That’s wild. Wild! I guess the sight of a guy riding a bike out on the sand was crazy, and all the beach people were all like “WHAT?!” and he was all “look at my big tires!” and then he drove past the sand, into the ocean, and he was all “I can drive my bicycle over water itself!” and everyone was shocked. A serious bike deserves a serious bike rack.

Look at this awesome Bike Rack For 6 Bikes with Top Rack-Carbon Steel I found! Dude, for real. This easy to use bike rack stores up to 6 bikes upright! Not 5, 6!! It’s got a sleek euro styled powder coated steel frame that cradles front wheels securely and conveniently, and a heavy duty carbon steel frame that uses plastic inserts at all connections to eliminate metal to metal contact that can lead to rust and corrosion and all those darn hardware and assembly tools are included and that means you can use it also as an accessory storage rack that holds helmets, book bags and more! Pretty cool.

New Bike Rack Alternative is USELESS, Dangerous, and Lethal.

As a huge fan of Bike Racks, I’m always suspicious of new ways to keep your bike safe! And that’s not just BECAUSE I like Bike Racks so much, but because these new systems of security are SO BAD. Really, really bad. Take this new EXCELOBIKE SAFE-T-LOCK SECURITY BOLT. It’s kind of like The Club, in that you just install it on you bike, and when you leave your bike, no one will be able to touch you bike and drive away. Because they would be electrocuted. But, see, even though I think that’s a worthy punishment for bike thieves, who deserve nothing short of painful death, look at what happened to a guy who had the EXCELOBIKE SAFE-T-LOCK SECURITY BOLT installed on his bike. He was just riding around in a parking lot. He wasn’t even parked and leaving his bike behind! Check it out:

That’s tragic! Crazy tragic! Oh well. Just use a Bike Rack, friends! Really. i don’t want what happened to that guy to happen to any of you! (Unless you’re a bike thief!) Boy, that is CRAZY! The guy just BLEW UP! Man. Hey, you know what else is BLOWING UP? The values at Stacks and Stacks. Check out this crazy Free Standing Bike Rack I found! It’s terrific!

It’s a strong, black powder coated, steel framed free standing bike rack, and it really gives you a storage option for your bikes that doesn’t take up a whole lot of space. Or blow you up! Since this unit is free standing it gives you the option of placing it anywhere. Which is why they call it free standing. AND this bike rack looks stylish AND is able to handle up to 200 lbs worth of bikes AND is awesome! No wall required! Use it inside or outside, this rack can handle any bike holding job! I want you to think about that. And think about not exploding, too! Good luck!

Skuut the Heck Up, Fear! Kids, Cast Out Fear with the Skuut Bike!

Remember way back when, when you first learned to ride a bike? I know, it was totally a loooooong time ago. But think back to when you took your first bike ride. Scary, terrifying, heart-stopping. Blind fear. Horror. The horror. Gravity. Pavement. Pain. Busted bike, terrifying memories, awful nightmares. Thanks to my militant father who laughed at my tears and fed me shame, I got right back up on that bike and rode it. Right down the street, right over the curb, right down the hill, right into the parking lot, right into the moving station wagon. Right into the darkness of concussion. Right into the hospital. But it was all okay, because I gained a lifetime of respect for bikes and bike riding and bikes and bike racks. So thanks, dad. But you know what would have helped waaaaaaaay back when, helped me to avoid the cruel, excruciating agony of that first day riding a bike? This Skuut Wooden Balance Bike from the gang over at Stacks and Stacks.

Cool! Supercool! Your kids can take the fear out of riding a bike with the Skuut! The Skuut is a wooden bike meant for kids ages two to five. It has no pedals, no at all, and no training wheels. None! The Skuut teaches children the principles of balance, steering, coordination and – most importantly – confidence with a bike. Confidence! Now check out this coolness! Kids sit on the Skuut, and kick off the ground, as if running, thus pushing or ‘skuut-ing’ themselves and the bike forward. Scooooot! Skuut! After some time mastering balance on the Skuut, the transition to a traditional two-wheel bike is a snap! Boy, I wish my old man knew that! Oh well. Ha-ha! Choose from just the Skuut, or the Skuut with a matching bike rack! Because this blog isn’t just supposed to be all about my hellish childhood, but about bike racks. Bike Racks Blog!! Remember, your kids will think it’s a hoot to Skuut! Good luck!

Trees are the Days you’ll Look Back On and Smile. While on your Bike.

These days a lot of people are getting nuts about trees and melting snow and smokestacks and pollution and the end of the world. I don’t think there’s any global warming, and I don’t think there’s any pollution wrecking the environment. It’s called summer, people. It’s okay. But everyone is all “aaaaah” about planting tress and whatnot. I don’t think we need REAL trees, we need Bike Tree. The fine fellows over at the site called “Bike Tree” agree, and they have a nicer version of the future than the one that crazy end of the world pollution polar caps melting people seem to want. Imagine a whole lot more of bike trees springing up all over the place. People would be startled at first, then they would be excited, then they would all start riding bike and cars would become irrelevant. Maybe THAT would make these freaky global warming people happy. But who cares. Fans of bike racks would need to go to the hospital to remove the smile! Bike rack tress, everywhere? Well, not today. But we can start with this crazy cool Bike Tree. One tree at a time, right?! Right!

Now, don’t think this is some kind of re-do of an older, more useless bike tree. No way. Ha-ha. This Heavy Duty Bike Tree is a new bike storage system. This bicycle rack holds two bikes on its patented arm assembly that can move up and down as well as side to side for perfect positioning. And what makes this bike tree so cool, so really special, is that it holds any style of bike! Think about that for one second, then TRY not to order one! It features a powder coated steel tube construction that is both durable and stylish! And get ready, because this unique bike rack stands 84″ tall and the vinyl coated arms will not scratch or mar the paint! Dude, really. AND it holds up to 120 pounds and requires some assembly, no tools needed!
Pretty sweet. Pretty wild. Pretty bike rack! Good luck!