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July 31, 2009

Face the Facts: You’re Faced with a Choice about Floating.

Hi friends.  Still here.  Yes, I got all of your e-mail.  No, I still can’t talk about what happened to me.  My lawyer says I have to wait.  SORRY!  Ha-ha.  Don’t worry, though, it’s worth the wait!  Ain’t that the way life always goes?  You’re not kidding.  And then you die!  Ha-ha.  But hopefully not before you learn about what happened to me.  And speaking of hellish nightmares, is there anything worse than eating it?  You know, really eating it, like bad, like wrecking your face?  How about eating it and wrecking your face and having some dude standing there with a CAMERA?!  Oh snap!  Looks like this poor fella ordered a wrecked face for lunch.  Instant delivery!  Is he on Facebook?  Because he just booked it into his face.  And thanks to the internet, we get to re-live it forever:

Maybe he should have stayed indoors and used this instead:

There’s a lot to be said for floating.  If the face-wreck gentleman had the ability to float, he wouldn’t have eaten it!  Ha-ha,  I know!  Okay, but you’re saying, “how can I float a bike?  I don’t have an alien in a basket attached to the front.”  Guess what?  Nobody does.  But they do have access to the internet, and they can shop at Stacks and Stacks.  And there they can find the “Bike Lift - Floating Bike Rack“.  And with it, you can float your bike. You can lift your bike up, up and away using the Bike Lift. This system is light-weight and easy to use. Just use the adjustable gripping hooks to grab your bike and pull up to 50 lbs up and out of the way. The rope locking mechanism ensures that what goes up does not come down until you want it to. This system can be used on ceilings up to 14 feet. Take bike racks to the next level with the Bike Lift. Because eating it on the street is kind of a bummer.  Okay!

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