Monthly Archives: February 2011

A cool new Bike Rack makes me Happy, but a Mean Blog Lady bums me out.

I don’t know about what is happening to me here, but I am under attack by a weird INTERNET BLOGGER. That’s the worst level of attacker you can ever have, a step below fire ants or bed bugs or crabs. INTERNET BLOGGERS, when they get agitated, are tiny, and annoying, and they burn, and they keep you from doing what you’d rather be doing, which is writing about Bike Racks. Somewhere off in some sad corner of the internet, Wine Racks Blog tells all about Wine Racks and this chick Wineracks Molly I guess is really excited about those Wine Racks. Most of the weird blog is boring and stupid and dumb and retarded. Also spurious. But when you get down to the nitty-gritty and add up the pieces of feces, I’d say this Molly is mostly delusional and scary. Check out this post… this lie cupcake with ca-ca cream filling she baked up:

As you know, I’ve recently become aware of the blog that is called Bike Racks Blog, the blog that is known as the most dangerous site on the internet. I recently tried to have a conversation with Mr. Larry Wilson, the proprietor of the blog, but of course, I should have known better. You can’t reason with madmen. But still, I wanted to reach out, even though people advised me against it. I guess it seems naive, but I wanted to try to understand the person that would post such things like Cold, Chilling Holiday Nights demand you chill out with some stone-cold Holiday Deals!? Here is a transcription of that interview.

News Flash: She made that up. She never spoke with me.
BREAKING NEWS FLASH: I’m mad as hell, and Bike Racks Blog is going to war.

Yes, you guessed correctly… when Bike Racks blog is pushed, we go on the offended. We fight back to back, serving up hot angry soup. We strike when its less expected. We attack like clones and stick like a tack. We unleash Biblical levels of allegory. IT IS WAR, Wine Racks Blog. WAR. But please don’t worry long-time readers: attacking dumb hate blogs will not stop us from doing what we do best, which is finding the very coolest in Bike Racks, usually at Stacks and Stacks, usually at a very reasonable price, usually awesome. But we can’t forget that we were slander-libeled and libel-slandered by a libelous-slanderous herky-jerky wino. So the FIGHT BEGINS!

First thing I did was a reverse traceroute ping to locate the IP timestamp and compared reverse traceroute paths with traceroutes issued from the destination ping hops seen in directly measured traceroutes along the same ping path. It didn’t take me long to zero in on the computer Wine Racks Blog posts lie posts from. And it didn’t take me long to camp out on the street in front of the house where the computer Wine Racks Blog posts lie posts from is located. And it didn’t take me long to photograph the idiot.

That’s her, Bike Racks Blog League of Bike Rack Fans. So let’s GET HER. Let’s visit her site and leave comments and tell her how great THIS site is. Let’s type “Bike Racks Blog” into Google as many times as we can to get the #1 spot on Google Trends and embarrass her and blow away her traffic. Let’s not purchase any Wine Racks and kill the Wine Rack industry and then leave her nothing to talk about. Then she’ll have nothing to talk about but ME, so she can change the name of her blog to Unhealthy Obsession With Bike Racks Blog and then I’ll sue her for copyright violation.

So hey, do you need a bike rack that can accommodate many styles of bikes, in case you need to, I don’t know, convert them into one big flying justice death machine doling out beeatch bombs of megaton ninja vengeance? Then this is the one for you. It’s a really sweet Garage Gator Motorized Storage System. Garage storage for all your heavy toys has never been easier with the Garage Gator Motorized Storage System. The keylock safety switch allows you to lower or raise everything from bikes to gold bags, canoes to kayaks and much more. The Garage Gator is perfect for garage organization as it frees up floor space. 5″ model holds up to 125 lbs. 10″ model holds up to 220 lbs. Comes with a standard 110v plug and all hardware needed for simple install. But I digress…

It’s on friends. It’s on like Tron. Like Donkey Kong Marathon. I declare war on Wine Racks Blog, and I will not stop. Ever.

Molly better realize she just woke up the sleeping giant white whale, and THIS giant white whale she won’t be able to stop with just a slingshot and three magic beans.

Winning.

Alfonse Catraz invents strange Bicycle: I find a Rack for it.

I am not exactly sure what to make of this bike. How do you ride it? What do you do when you’re riding it except pray that you don’t fall? And maybe die? Why is this invention please? Making no sense and then! Still, better than nothing or bicyckle then of course not at all of course. I’m all for innovative innovation, but sometimes you have to know when to quit when you’re ahead. And judging from the odd shape and fprm of this bizarre bike, the inventor, a Mr. Nickosla Tezla, should have not invented it. Why, it would take something impressive, like a Small Mountain Bike Rack from Stacks and Stacks just to keep this thing from falling over!

Well, it looks like this fellow didn’t have one of these at his disposal. Maybe then he would provides the ultimate in flexibility to accommodate today’s wide variety of bike frame designs while still maintaining all the advantages of having a hitch mounted bike rack. This rack holds four bikes and rotates to allow your bikes to be carried with the wheels level to the ground and provide greater clearance. Other features include a locking knob for added security and soft vinyl cushioning, which is grooved for cables and provides a secure, scratch free ride for your bike. Can accommodate up to a 2 inch frame tube. Assembly required. Good luck!