BIKE RACKS BLOG

No, don’t be scared. Not a REAL UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT! It’s a Hoist Monster! As I’ve hopefully showed everyone, there are just so many wonderful ways to Rack Bikes, from “old school” ways to cutting edge new ways as well also. But totally the coolest way is hanging them up from the ceiling in the air above the ground. Not only is is a conversation starter (”Hey Larry, how did you get that bike in the air?”), it’s also a handy way to keep clutter and un- organization off the floor and keep it out from underfoot by putting it mid-air. Sometimes these devices are called Hoists. And sometimes… they’re called UFOs.

I should have saved this post for Halloween, but I just couldn’t wait! Ha-ha! It’s the Hoist Monster from Stacks and Stacks! It doesn’t look like a UFO, and it doesn’t look scary, but I guess what it scares away is clutter and un-organization, both of which should be very scarred of it, ha-ha. It’s a real tough device, which gives you piece of mind, and it also features a limited lifetime warranty, which is EVEN BETTER piece of mind. AND everything’s included for easy ceiling installation. It’s a great way to rack! This monster has covered all the bases, no doubt about it. It’s really the nicest monster I have ever met. And I’ve met some monsters! And seen some UFOs! Okay, bye.

Well, you certainly don’t have to be a super-human type being to get up on the ceiling. And you don’t have to be a rock climber hang upside down. And you really don’t need to work for the phone company, either. How do you do it? Let me explain to you how. Feast you eyes on some serious awesomeness. This amazing Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack and Hoist takes your bike, and HANGS IT!

Pretty neat, huh? The first time I installed one back in 2003, my kids and I stood and stared. My ex-wife said it looked like a scene out of her favorite film, “E.T. The Extra Terrestrial”. She was exactly right, and the Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack’s tough cam lock and frame is exactly right as well. You know what? It also holds ladders, if your bike is out in the shop. Or you’re out riding it. It’ll actually safely hoist up anything you want, up to 75 pounds! That was great for my cramped garage, when it existed. There just so much stuff around in there, the Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack really helps. It helps your bike “rise above”! (Ha-ha, sorry, bad pun.)

I’d nab one of these Aluminum Overhead Garage Racks quick, and hang your goods up, if I were you. You’ll be envied by your neighbors, and like I said, your kids will love watching things float up there. Mine used to. And my new fiance was so happy after I bought one, that she said that she could overlook all of my “wacky eccentricities” because I finally came though on something I said I could: I made a bike float in the air. Ha-ha! Peace!

Hi friends.  Still here.  Yes, I got all of your e-mail.  No, I still can’t talk about what happened to me.  My lawyer says I have to wait.  SORRY!  Ha-ha.  Don’t worry, though, it’s worth the wait!  Ain’t that the way life always goes?  You’re not kidding.  And then you die!  Ha-ha.  But hopefully not before you learn about what happened to me.  And speaking of hellish nightmares, is there anything worse than eating it?  You know, really eating it, like bad, like wrecking your face?  How about eating it and wrecking your face and having some dude standing there with a CAMERA?!  Oh snap!  Looks like this poor fella ordered a wrecked face for lunch.  Instant delivery!  Is he on Facebook?  Because he just booked it into his face.  And thanks to the internet, we get to re-live it forever:

Maybe he should have stayed indoors and used this instead:

There’s a lot to be said for floating.  If the face-wreck gentleman had the ability to float, he wouldn’t have eaten it!  Ha-ha,  I know!  Okay, but you’re saying, “how can I float a bike?  I don’t have an alien in a basket attached to the front.”  Guess what?  Nobody does.  But they do have access to the internet, and they can shop at Stacks and Stacks.  And there they can find the “Bike Lift - Floating Bike Rack“.  And with it, you can float your bike. You can lift your bike up, up and away using the Bike Lift. This system is light-weight and easy to use. Just use the adjustable gripping hooks to grab your bike and pull up to 50 lbs up and out of the way. The rope locking mechanism ensures that what goes up does not come down until you want it to. This system can be used on ceilings up to 14 feet. Take bike racks to the next level with the Bike Lift. Because eating it on the street is kind of a bummer.  Okay!

All the time always people hope that the day will come that bikes have a new feature: the ability to fly. Man, wouldn’t that be something? Just riding up off a hill, through the air, and over the trees. Man, a flying bike. Alice, even today with all our future advances, bikes still can’t fly. But I was thinking about it out on my ride today. SHOULD bikes be able to fly? The more and more I thought about it, the more I think the answer is NO. DEFINITELY NO.

See, people are historically ungood bike riders. They tend to hit things, not like “the spot” or “it rich”, but things like tree stumps, telephone poles, and moving cars. So I think if bikes could FLY, people might start raining death down from above, smashing into houses at dinner, taking out schoolyards, landing in the middle of freeways. It probably wouldn’t be pretty, and it probably wouldn’t be fun. So maybe bikes should never fly. Now that I think about it, the closest a bike should ever come to flying is this Bike-Away Hoist from Stacks And Stacks.

Look at this guy! Ha-ha. It’s like he’s HOLDING the bikes up! He’s not, though — these bikes can’t fly, silly! No bikes can! But see what I mean? A bike in the air, secured and hoisted, is not so dangerous as a person on a flying bike. There is safety. The situation is under control. And it’s a great way to rack a bike! The Bike-Away Hoist gets the job done, and right! It helps you with the storage of up to 80 lbs. of bicycles (that means two) to an overhead position with almost no effort. And you can prevent tangling your legs up with pedals and handlebars by getting bikes up and out of the way! It’s a simple, safe, and convenient way to store bicycles (and get them down) without the use of dangerous step ladders. The rack is zinc plated steel, vinyl-coated and permanently lubricated. It also requires minimal assembly, and it mounts to any wall in minutes! So keep those bikes on the ground when you ride them, friends, but up in the air when you rack them! Good luck!

I had to hit the awesome button.  Okay gang, everyone sit down and take a deep breath. I’m going to tell you something that you might not believe at first, but I assure you it’s all true, every word. They’ve come out with Bike Hacks that HANG FROM YOUR CEILING. Nope, it’s not April 1st. I’ve seen them. They’re real, they hang, and you can get one right now! I know! This totally changes everything, for sure. Because now space is never going to be a problem from anyone, and you’ll never have to worry about wrecking your bike in a messy garage or house — now you just have to look up, and there it is! Man, what the heck?! SOOOOO COOL! I mean, some may think it’s crazy to have a ten speed just hanging up in the air like that, but it’s safer, more efficient, and it’s awesome. If you want to join the hanging bike party, look no further than Stacks And Stacks!

Now that you’ve used all of the wall space in your garage, and floor space must be open for car parking, what to do about that little extra storage space that’s needed? Hoist a bicycle, ladder, or other large items to the ceiling with this garage ceiling storage system! This garage storage rack lifts items to the ceiling (up to 12 feet high) with a unique rail design that mounts easily along the ceiling joist. With a 75-pound capacity, this garage bicycle rack uses a cam lock to secure the rope with every pull, making it user friendly for the average person. If a storage solution for smaller items is needed, simply load up to 75 pounds in a sack or garbage back, secure it to the pulleys, and lift it up! Access to stored items is almost as simple as having them on a shelf! Good luck!

I heard about this new kind of Bike Rack they’ve been testing out and approved and that they sell now, and after hearing about it, I had o find it for myself. Wow. When I did, I was knocked out and blown away. The stories didn’t do it justice, not all. The kind of rack I was looking at? A HANGING Bike Rack!! Can you imagine? Look at that, it’s up there, it’s really up there! Ha-ha! I like all kinds of bike racks, but when they hang from the ceiling like that, you’ll really got to take notice. And I sure did when I found this one at Stacks And Stacks! Check it out –

This awesome Storage Pulley Hoist from Stacks and Stacks is rad for turning those unused areas into extra storage space! With a lifting capacity of 80 lbs. and a safety release mechanism that keeps it from accidentally releasing, the Storage Pulley Hoist is perfect for storing bicycles, canoes, deck furniture, ladders, kayaks and whatever you like! Raises and lowers loads in seconds with the (aprox) 40 feet of rope that’s even included! And I gotta tell you, it’s versatile enough to work on open rafters or finished ceilings of up to 9 feet in height, and that means it’s great for off season storage! So if you can get past the idea that this Bike Rack hangs from the ceiling, I would advise you to purchase one ASAP! Good luck!

Up, Up, and Away! By far the most popular Bike Racks that I write about on this blog are the Bike Racks that hang the bike over the ground. Hoisted Bike Racks. Bike Racks not unlike the Up and Away Bike Hoist from Stacks and Stacks. People just can’t get enough of them, and who can find a reason to dislike them, really? Not only are they a terrific way of keeping your bike, your expensive investment in these troubled economic times, up and safe from thieves, but they’re great for keeping the garage neat, and orderly, and clean! And you save space by MAXIMIZING your space! But I think I know another reason. They’re just COOL! Ha-ha. I know it sounds silly, but hear me out. I think there is still a little child-like wonder inside of all of us, even in these uncertain economic times, and I think when we see something cool like this, we are reminded of the old days of things like ferris wheels and merry-go-rounds and fun things! Things that we like today, but have to enjoy through our children or our wives may get mad at us for behaving too “infantile” in public. Or something like that. Ha-ha!

This one in particular is a doozy. The Up and Away Bike Hoist is cool for alot of reasons, not just that it is a hanging Bike Rack. It holds up to 50 pounds, and it will lift your bike up to 12 feet! Cool. It is an easy-to-install model. Cooler. And it will hold ANY STYLE bike INCLUDING TANDEMS! That, my friends, is the coolest. You should really think about purchasing this Up and Away Bike Hoist if you don’t already have one. Even in these uncertain economic times, it’s a wise investment to protect your other investment! And don’t worry, folks — there are plenty more hanging bike racks out there — and I’m going to write about them all!

No, don’t be scared. Not a REAL MONSTER! It’s a Hoist Monster! As I’ve hopefully showed everyone, there are just so many wonderful ways to Rack Bikes, from “old school” ways to cutting edge new ways as well also. But totally the coolest way is hanging them up from the ceiling in the air above the ground. Not only is is a conversation starter (”Hey Larry, how did you get that bike in the air?”), it’s also a handy way to keep clutter and un- organization off the floor and keep it out from underfoot by putting it mid-air. Sometimes these devices are called Hoists. And sometimes… they’re called MONSTERS.

I should have saved this post for Halloween, but I just couldn’t wait! Ha-ha! It’s the Hoist Monster from Stacks and Stacks! It doesn’t look like a monster, and it doesn’t look scary, but I guess what it scares away is clutter and un-organization, both of which should be very scarred of it, ha-ha. It’s a real tough device, which gives you piece of mind, and it also features a limited lifetime warranty, which is EVEN BETTER piece of mind.  AND everything’s included for easy ceiling installation.  It’s a great way to rack!  This monster has covered all the bases, no doubt about it.  It’s really the nicest monster I have ever met. And I’ve met some monsters!

Well, you certainly don’t have to have the moves of a Fred Astaire to get up on the ceiling. And you don’t have to be a Bat and hang upside down. And you really don’t need super powers like Spider-Man, either. How do you do it? Let me explain to you how. Feast you eyes on some serious awesomeness. This amazing Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack and Hoist takes your bike, and HANGS IT!

Pretty neat, huh? The first time I installed mine, the kids and I stood and stared. Alison said it looked like a scene out of her favorite film, “E.T. The Extra Terrestrial”. She was exactly right, and the Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack’s tough cam lock and frame is exactly right as well. You know what? It also holds ladders, if your bike is out in the shop. Or you’re out riding it. It’ll actually safely hoist up anything you want, up to 75 pounds! That’s great for my cramped garage. There just so much stuff around in there, the Aluminum Overhead Garage Rack really helps. It helps your bike “rise above”! (Ha-ha, sorry, bad pun.)

I’d nab one of these Aluminum Overhead Garage Racks quick, and hang your goods up, if I were you. You’ll be envied by your neighbors, and like I said, your kids will love watching things float up there. Mine do. And Alison was so happy after I bought one, that she snuck a song onto my iPod. I heard it on my morning bike ride. Know what it was? One guess. Give up? Here you go: