Bikes Are Not Meant To Fly (Because You Can’t Rack a Flying Bike)
All the time always people hope that the day will come that bikes have a new feature: the ability to fly. Man, wouldn’t that be something? Just riding up off a hill, through the air, and over the trees. Man, a flying bike. Alice, even today with all our future advances, bikes still can’t fly. But I was thinking about it out on my ride today. SHOULD bikes be able to fly? The more and more I thought about it, the more I think the answer is NO. DEFINITELY NO.
See, people are historically ungood bike riders. They tend to hit things, not like “the spot” or “it rich”, but things like tree stumps, telephone poles, and moving cars. So I think if bikes could FLY, people might start raining death down from above, smashing into houses at dinner, taking out schoolyards, landing in the middle of freeways. It probably wouldn’t be pretty, and it probably wouldn’t be fun. So maybe bikes should never fly. Now that I think about it, the closest a bike should ever come to flying is this Bike-Away Hoist from Stacks And Stacks.

Look at this guy! Ha-ha. It’s like he’s HOLDING the bikes up! He’s not, though — these bikes can’t fly, silly! No bikes can! But see what I mean? A bike in the air, secured and hoisted, is not so dangerous as a person on a flying bike. There is safety. The situation is under control. And it’s a great way to rack a bike! The Bike-Away Hoist gets the job done, and right! It helps you with the storage of up to 80 lbs. of bicycles (that means two) to an overhead position with almost no effort. And you can prevent tangling your legs up with pedals and handlebars by getting bikes up and out of the way! It’s a simple, safe, and convenient way to store bicycles (and get them down) without the use of dangerous step ladders. The rack is zinc plated steel, vinyl-coated and permanently lubricated. It also requires minimal assembly, and it mounts to any wall in minutes! So keep those bikes on the ground when you ride them, friends, but up in the air when you rack them! Good luck!






I must disagree, I think it’s more than possible to see bikes ‘fly’. I used to know a guy, a mechanic named Fonzarelli, and he would do all sorts of trick jumps on his bike - like jumping over garbage cans, buses and I think one time he jumped over something else, but I can’t remember what it was. I don’t think he was on his motorcycle for that one.
Great hoisting bike rack! I think I’ll get one for the garage.
Comment by Joanie — March 4, 2009 @ 11:30 am
Well, tou-che Joanie. Good for you and your friend (who is probably dead now)(or in prison). I can’t disagree with you enough about your disagreement with my blog, but I would also like to thank you for your support of the blog as well also. Please get one for your garage and please let me know how it works out and whether Fonzarelli is dead or alive. Cheers!
Comment by Larry — March 6, 2009 @ 2:45 pm